06 October 2025
As Domestic Violence awareness month is marked across the British Isles, October 2025, a
campaigner who works to raise awareness of the dangers of coercive control has shared a
checklist of signs that someone could be showing if they’re in a controlling relationship, for
friends and employers to look out for, should they be concerned about someone’s welfare.
Samantha Billingham, who has lived experience of coercive control, is the founder of the UK-based organisation Stronger Beginnings.
Sam supported the Government of Jersey’s campaign to raise awareness of the issue of
coercive control as part of the Government of Jersey’s ongoing work to tackle violence against
women and girls (VAWG) earlier this year, and now works across the UK providing education
sessions to organisations who want to know more about signs which could suggest that
coercive control is ongoing and what to look out for.
Speaking about the ABC checklist she has developed, Sam said: “If we’re not talking about
coercive control, we’re not talking about domestic abuse.
“When someone is experiencing coercive control because they may not talk about it, it can be
difficult to help them. But as I know from first-hand experience, there are often things which
change about someone who is in a controlling relationship, and this is what I experienced. The
ABC I have created stands for Appearance, Behaviour and Conversation. These are all things
which might change in someone and can be looked out for. This can be particularly important at
work, and sometimes, that’s the only safe place for the victim to be.
“The ABC checklist can be an easy way to see if there are any changes in someone which could
be of concern”, says Sam. “Changes in appearance can relate to someone not being well
groomed. Behaviour changes can include things like not making eye contact or being quiet and
withdrawn and changes in conversation can include being hesitant or evasive. Loved ones,
friends, family and colleagues can help a person who might be experiencing this just by
listening to the person."
Speaking about the Government of Jersey’s ongoing work about VAWG, Minister for Justice and
Home Affairs, Deputy Mary Le Hegarat, said: “Tackling the issue of violence against women and
girls is a priority for the Council of Ministers. In June this year we published our first
report which outlined the progress made against the recommendations of the VAWG Taskforce,
which showed that significant progress had been made. The recommendations concern both
departments across government and non-government organisations. The work is collaborative
and ongoing, but it must remain at the forefront of our minds.
“Regarding the issue of coercive control, I would urge anyone who is experiencing this to seek
help and support when they feel they can, which is available locally. You will be supported and
listened to, in confidence.
“I am grateful to the organisations who work in this area for all they do. The awareness raising
campaigns run by Government of Jersey and the States of Jersey Police are important, too. It’s
positive that Islanders are informed about issues like coercive control and can use The
Domestic Abuse Disclosure Scheme (known as Clare’s Law) to enable the police to disclose
information to a victim or potential victim of domestic abuse about their partner’s previous
abusive or violent behaviour.”
Sarah Hamon, Service Manager for Jersey Domestic and Sexual Abuse Support said: “The ABC
Checklist is an easy tool, for all Islanders to use, to identify changes they may be seeing in
friends, family members, or colleagues. The red flags of domestic abuse are often first noticed
by those closest to the victim-survivor.
“While domestic abuse is known to effect women and girls disproportionately, we recognise
that anyone can experience domestic abuse, which includes coercive and controlling
behaviour. It is hoped that raising awareness of the checklist, will enable and inform
conversations that lead to victim-survivors accessing support around their options, wellbeing,
and safety.”
Freeda CEO Kate Wright said: “We’re really grateful to the Government of Jersey for this
important awareness campaign. Coercive control is one of the most insidious forms of abuse
because it can be hidden in plain sight. At Freeda, we hear every day how isolating and
frightening it is for survivors who feel silenced in their own homes. That’s why campaigns like
this matter – they give survivors and their friends, colleagues and employers the tools to notice
when something isn’t right, and the confidence to reach out with care. No one should suffer in
silence, and support is here in Jersey for anyone who needs it.”
Local support:
In Jersey, support is available from:
- Freeda on 01534 281271 24 hours a day or hello@freeda.org.je and
- Jersey Domestic and Sexual Abuse Support (JDAS) on 01534 880505
- In an emergency, call States of Jersey Police on 999.
More information:
gov.je